Leading with Empathy: How I Learned to Build a Culture of Balance and Performance
High-pressure, high-stakes projects can bring out the best in a team—or the worst. For me, it was a lesson learned the hard way.
I was leading a critical project, the kind that demands focus, speed, and a relentless drive to succeed. I was pumped. Nights, weekends—I was always on, pushing myself to the limit. What I didn’t realize was the unintended example I was setting.
Without meaning to, I created an environment where no one felt safe admitting they couldn’t keep up or that they had other priorities.
The Hidden Message of Overwork
Some members of my team had young children. Others simply operated at a different rhythm than mine. But, to a person, they felt the need to match my pace.
I can honestly say I meant it when I told them:
“Pace yourselves. I don’t expect you to work like I’m working right now.”
But my words didn’t match my actions.
When I sent emails at midnight, skipped weekends off, and showed up on Mondays with the energy of someone who hadn’t stopped, I was sending a clear message: This is what it takes to succeed.
The result? People I cared about began feeling judged, demoralized, and exhausted.
The Warning Signs of Burnout
Predictably, the signs of burnout started to appear:
Withdrawal: Team members were pulling back in meetings, speaking up less, and showing signs of disengagement.
Strain: Everyone looked tired, worn out by the relentless pace.
Mistakes: One of my most detail-oriented employees started missing small things—something that never happened before.
Chronic Stress: Another team member always seemed to have a cold that wouldn’t go away, a physical sign of the toll stress was taking.
It was a wake-up call. The team was fraying at the edges, and it was on me to fix it.
How I Took Responsibility as a Leader
I realized that if I wanted to prevent burnout and rebuild trust, the change had to start with me. Here’s how I shifted my leadership approach:
1. I Opened Up the Conversation
I sat down with the team and spoke candidly about what I was seeing.
“I’ve noticed that we’re all feeling the strain,” I said. “If you were in my position, how would you handle this?”
The impact of this question was immediate. By inviting their input, I wasn’t just showing empathy—I was making them part of the solution. It was a powerful shift from me vs. them to us together.
2. I Redefined What We Celebrate
In the past, I unintentionally praised overwork—recognizing the person who pulled an all-nighter or skipped a weekend to meet a deadline.
I changed that narrative. I began celebrating rest and balance.
If someone took time off to recharge or made time for family, I acknowledged it as an example of healthy prioritization. I made it clear: It’s okay to be human and have a life.
3. I Made Space for Real Conversations
At the start of every meeting, I began asking, “How are you really doing?”—both personally and professionally.
At first, responses were surface-level. But as the team realized I was listening actively, the conversations became more honest.
People shared their struggles and challenges, which gave us the chance to address problems before they became crises.
4. I Changed My Own Habits
This one was tough but necessary: I stopped emailing late at night and on weekends.
I also started taking time off myself—modeling the balance I wanted for the team. By showing that it was okay to step back, I gave them permission to do the same.
The Power of Work Style Diversity
As the team began to recover, we had a collective realization: Diversity in the workplace isn’t just about backgrounds or identities—it’s also about work styles.
Not everyone thrives on the same schedule or pace. Some people are night owls, others are early risers. Some need quiet, focused time to do their best work, while others thrive in collaborative, high-energy environments.
Recognizing and respecting these differences transformed how we worked together.
I adjusted my expectations, and in return, my team saw that my approach wasn’t “wrong” for me either. It was about finding different paths to the same goal—and supporting each other along the way.
The Outcome: A Culture of Balance and Performance
The changes we made had a profound impact:
Improved Communication: Honest conversations became the norm, allowing us to address stress and workload proactively.
Stronger Morale: People felt seen, heard, and valued—not just for their work but as whole individuals.
Sustainable Productivity: We no longer had to choose between high performance and well-being. Both were possible when we embraced balance.
Better Teamwork: Understanding and respecting diverse work styles made us a more cohesive and effective team.
Lessons Learned: Leading with Empathy and Balance
Here’s what this experience taught me about leadership:
1. Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Telling your team to prioritize balance means nothing if your actions say otherwise. Leaders set the tone, and if you’re always on, your team will feel pressured to follow suit.
2. Empathy Is Essential
Leadership isn’t just about setting goals and driving results—it’s about understanding the people behind the work. Listening, showing empathy, and being willing to adjust make all the difference.
3. Balance and Performance Aren’t Opposites
For too long, we’ve treated well-being and productivity as if they’re in conflict. The truth is, sustainable performance requires balance. Burned-out teams can’t deliver their best work.
4. Diversity Includes Work Styles
Respecting diverse work styles isn’t just nice to have—it’s essential for building a high-performing team. When people are empowered to work in ways that suit them, they bring their best to the table.
The Bigger Picture: A New Approach to Leadership
Leading a high-stakes project taught me that pushing harder isn’t always the answer. Sometimes, the most effective thing you can do as a leader is to step back, listen, and make space for others to thrive.
By embracing empathy and balance, you don’t lower expectations—you create an environment where people can meet them in ways that are sustainable and authentic.
The result? Teams that don’t just perform—they flourish.
Your Turn: Building a Culture That Works
If you’re a leader, ask yourself:
Are you modeling the balance you want your team to have?
Do your actions align with your words?
Are you creating space for real conversations about stress and workload?
It’s never too late to make a change. The small shifts you make today can transform your team’s culture for the better.
Because when you lead with empathy and balance, you don’t just achieve goals—you build something stronger: trust, sustainability, and lasting success.