Taking Back Your Vote: Why the Opinions of the "Cheap Seats" Shouldn’t Shape Your Life
Anyone who knows me knows I’m incredibly close to my mom. She’s not just family; she’s one of my best friends, my confidante, and my sounding board. Even though we’ve lived on opposite ends of the world for the past three decades, we talk almost every day. Our conversations span everything from how to make biriyani to how best to treat a tummy upset—and, of course, a lot more.
Sometimes, I’ll share something with her just to keep her in the loop, not necessarily seeking advice, but she’ll offer her opinion anyway. Moms, right? One instance that stands out vividly was when I made the bold decision to step off the corporate ladder at Microsoft and start my own company, The Infinite Impact Group. This was a monumental decision for me, leaving behind a stable, highly paid job with tremendous growth potential and wonderful colleagues.
Naturally, I knew this would be a significant concern for my parents, who, like many parents, wanted to see me well-settled and financially secure. When I broke the news to my mom, she had a lot of questions—some expected ones about how I planned to manage everything, but also one that struck a chord: “What will people say?”
This wasn’t a new question in our conversations. In fact, it was a recurring theme throughout my life, a steady drumbeat that had been ingrained in me over the years. Like it or not, admit it or not, I realized that this concern about other people’s opinions had subtly influenced my thinking and decisions for far too long.
But then something shifted. One day, I decided to confront this idea head-on and asked my mom a simple question: “Who are these people?”
She looked puzzled. “Which people? What do you mean?” she asked.
I clarified, “These ‘what will people think’ people. Who are they?”
The silence that followed was deafening. After a moment, she tentatively threw out a name or two, but here’s what hit me: I barely remembered what these people looked like. I hadn’t seen or heard from them in decades. Yet, somehow, they had a vote on what I did or didn’t do and how I felt about myself.
This realization was a turning point for me. I began to see these voices as coming from what I now call the "Cheap Seats"—those loud, often anonymous opinions that somehow managed to wield influence over my life decisions. These were people who didn’t have a real stake in my life or my happiness but whose judgments I had allowed to shape my path.
Until that moment, I had unknowingly given these Cheap Seats far too much power. Their opinions had made me feel like I was always too much of one thing and not enough of another. They had influenced major decisions—like staying in relationships that weren’t healthy or sticking with jobs that didn’t fulfill me. Essentially, they had kept me playing small.
The price I paid for giving these Cheap Seats a say in my life was steep. It cost me energy, self-confidence, and overall well-being. But on that day, I made a conscious decision to take my vote back. I realized that while there is always something to learn from others, not everyone deserves a say in how I live my life or how I feel about myself.
Now, when it comes to how I view myself and my decisions, I ask two critical questions before giving anyone a vote:
Do they care to understand my journey and its challenges?
Did they offer support when I needed it?
Support, by the way, doesn’t mean someone always telling me what I want to hear. True support can include sharing concerns, pointing out potential pitfalls, or questioning my decisions—but all without shaming or pulling me down.
This shift in perspective has been liberating. By filtering out the Cheap Seats and focusing only on the voices that truly matter, I’ve been able to reclaim my narrative and make decisions that align with my true self and my goals.
So, who’s in your Cheap Seats at work or in life? Who are the noisemakers who don’t have a real stake in your success but whose opinions you’ve allowed to carry weight?
Here’s what you need to do:
Identify them: Take a moment to think about the people whose opinions you often worry about. Are they really involved in your life in a meaningful way, or are they just voices from the sidelines?
Ask yourself the two key questions: Do these people genuinely care about your journey and its challenges? Have they offered you support when you needed it, even if that support came in the form of constructive criticism?
Take your vote back: If the answer to either of these questions is anything but a resounding yes, it’s time to reclaim your power. The next time the Cheap Seats start bubbling up, remind yourself that those who aren’t invested in your growth don’t get to shape your decisions or your destiny.
Reclaiming your narrative isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary for living a life that’s true to who you are and what you want to achieve. When you stop letting the Cheap Seats dictate your choices, you open up space for the voices that truly matter—those who support your dreams, understand your journey, and are genuinely invested in your growth.
So, stay committed to your path. Keep dreaming big. And most importantly, take back your vote. Because at the end of the day, the only opinion that truly counts is your own.