The Fragile Nature of Trust: 20 Years to Build, 60 Minutes to Burn
At 24, I bought my first car—a beat-up junker.
Objectively, it was a hot mess. But to me, it was so much more than that.
It was freedom on wheels, my first taste of independence, and a step toward adulthood.
Fast forward almost two decades, and my car-buying journey brought me back to the same dealership and the same salesman time and time again. He wasn’t just the guy who sold me cars; he became someone I trusted.
I referred friends and family to him. He invited me to his wedding. Even as the dealership’s overall service declined, I stuck around because of him.
Then one day, just like that, he broke my trust.
The Day It All Fell Apart
When my latest lease was nearing its end, I decided to buy the car outright and finance it through my bank. Simple enough, right?
I called my salesman to set things up.
“I have a small window tomorrow to sign papers,” I told him. “Can you have everything ready? I’ll bring a check—no dealer financing.”
He replied with his usual upbeat energy: “Sure, no problem. I got you.”
The next day, I arrived at the dealership on time. He showed up 15 minutes late.
Not with an apology, but with a story.
“Sorry, I had this huge craving for Shake Shack. That line was ridiculous. GREAT burger, though.”
Seriously? I was already 20 minutes into my tight schedule, and he’s giving me a burger review?
But it got worse.
First, he couldn’t find my file. Then, after finally locating it, he directed me to Financing—where they started pitching dealer financing, the ONE thing I explicitly said was off the table.
At this point, I was furious. But what really sealed the deal was his parting words as I left:
“Great seeing you! You’re my favorite customer!! Oh, and you’ll get a satisfaction survey in email—hope to see another 5 out of 5.”
That was it.
Twenty years of trust, built through countless interactions, gone in 60 minutes.
Why Trust Matters More Than Ever
That experience was a stark reminder of just how fragile trust is. It can take years to earn, but only a moment to lose.
In business, trust isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s the foundation of everything.
A statistic that always sticks with me: High-trust organizations are 286% more productive than low-trust ones.
Think about that for a second.
Trust isn’t just a feel-good factor—it directly impacts performance, loyalty, and growth.
In today’s hybrid and remote work environments, where transparency and connection are harder to establish, trust is more critical than ever.
The Anatomy of Broken Trust
So, what went wrong at the dealership that day?
Looking back, the cracks were obvious:
1. Lack of Respect for My Time
Being late happens—but skipping an apology and leading with a Shake Shack review? That showed me where his priorities were.
2. Misaligned Communication
I had been crystal clear: no dealer financing. Ignoring that directive didn’t just waste my time—it made me feel unheard.
3. Transaction Over Relationship
By asking for a perfect survey score after such a disappointing experience, he made it clear that what mattered most to him wasn’t my satisfaction, but his metrics.
These missteps weren’t just careless; they were trust-destroying.
How Trust Drives Success
In my work with organizations and leaders, I’ve seen firsthand how trust transforms teams, cultures, and outcomes.
When trust is present:
Teams communicate openly and solve problems faster.
Employees feel valued and go above and beyond.
Customers remain loyal, even when mistakes happen.
But when trust erodes, everything else follows. Morale drops. Productivity suffers. Turnover spikes.
Protecting and prioritizing trust isn’t just good leadership—it’s good business.
Three Pillars of Building and Maintaining Trust
If trust is the currency of growth and loyalty, how do you earn and protect it? Here are three pillars to focus on:
1. Consistency
Trust is built on reliability. When you consistently follow through on your promises, you create a foundation of dependability.
In leadership: Set clear expectations and deliver on them.
In client relationships: Honor commitments, no matter how small.
2. Communication
Clear, honest communication is the backbone of trust. Miscommunication or a lack of transparency can erode trust faster than almost anything else.
In leadership: Be upfront about challenges and solutions. Don’t sugarcoat.
In client relationships: Listen actively and address concerns proactively.
3. Accountability
Owning mistakes is just as important as getting things right. When you take responsibility and make things right, you strengthen trust, even in difficult moments.
In leadership: Admit when you’re wrong and learn from it.
In client relationships: Fix mistakes quickly and exceed expectations in the resolution.
Rebuilding Trust When It’s Broken
While it’s true that trust is fragile, it’s not always irreparable. Here’s how to begin the rebuilding process:
1. Acknowledge the Breach
Ignoring or downplaying the issue only makes it worse. Take ownership of what went wrong.
2. Apologize Sincerely
A genuine apology can go a long way in mending relationships. Avoid defensiveness and focus on the impact of your actions.
3. Commit to Change
Words alone won’t rebuild trust. Demonstrate through consistent actions that you’ve learned and are taking steps to prevent future issues.
Trust in the Hybrid Work Era
In today’s hybrid and remote work environments, building trust comes with new challenges:
Visibility is reduced. Without face-to-face interactions, it’s harder to establish personal connections.
Communication gaps widen. Misunderstandings are more common in digital communication.
Accountability feels distant. Leaders must work harder to show they’re present and engaged.
To overcome these hurdles, leaders must double down on transparency, empathy, and intentional communication.
Treat Trust Like Gold
The lesson I learned at that dealership wasn’t just about a car. It was about the value of trust—and how easily it can be lost.
Trust is everything.
It’s the foundation of thriving relationships, whether personal or professional. It’s the currency of loyalty, growth, and impact.
And once it’s gone, it’s incredibly difficult to get back.
Final Thoughts: Protecting Trust in Every Interaction
Looking back, the dealership didn’t just lose a sale—they lost a loyal customer of nearly two decades.
For leaders and organizations, this story is a cautionary tale: Trust isn’t built overnight, but it can be destroyed in an instant.
So, protect it fiercely. Treat every interaction—no matter how small—as an opportunity to build trust.
Because when trust thrives, everything else follows.